The first
assignment was a fun one. Fortunately, I have several notebooks scattered around the house. This one with the butterfly is my favorite. I have been writing in it for quite a long time and it has snippets of all sorts of things. I have journal entries, lists, story snippets, book reviews, quotations from books and many other little bits of myself. The cover makes me smile because it is beautiful.
Here are a few more of my jumbly journals. They also have all sorts of things in them. I have even glued some poetry or other things inside that have caught my attention. I pick up extra composition books when I do my daughter's school supply shopping since they are very economical and sometimes they are fun to look at too. The striped one though, was a plain old black and white one before I attacked it with wrapping paper to make it more fun. I have one much smaller notebook that travels with me in my purse, but it isn't pretty at all. I got it for free from a vendor at a conference. It's dead useful though when I am not at home and need to jot something down.
I didn't write much while I was on vacation with my family last week, but I am looking forward to filling up my notebooks over the summer.
You could see it in the hunching of her shoulders and her downcast eyes. Feel it crackling in the air. Waves of fear rolled through her that night as he raged. A torrent of words flooded the kitchen -berating, questioning and threatening her. A pan sailed through the air narrowly missing her, leaving a dent in the wall. Every part of her body tensed, but all the while, her hands methodically continued picking up dishes to wash and rinse, wash and rinse, wash and rinse.
She shrank into herself and into her mind keeping her eyes focused on the soapsuds and dishes. She hoped for peace as her eyes welled with tears. She hoped for safety as her hands shook. Maybe the storm of anger would burst in a fury and fizzle out quickly, unlikely though that seemed at the time. The mantra kept running through her head, "It'll be over soon, it'll be over soon, it'll be over soon." She just wanted to be invisible so he couldn't see her fear or tears. Tears always made the anger escalate though she didn't totally understand why.
Years later she would wonder if her tears made him feel guilty. If it turned a mirror to him. Made him remember his own childhood and realize that he had passed on his own nightmares to his little girl giving her a legacy of fear and distrust. She would wonder if that knowledge pained him. How could he be unaware of how people close to him dreaded his intensity and rage? She would wonder how it felt to be so consumed with fury and overcome by extreme emotions. She would wonder if that emotional demon inside him was the main reason he chose to die, and most of all, if there could have been a way to vanquish it before it was too late.